Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
