And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
