you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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