He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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