Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
