I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
