Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
