**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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