just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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