Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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