i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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