whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
