Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
