Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
