apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
