on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
