Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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