He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
