STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
