I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
