he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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