Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
barbara walters just said penis...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is the high leading the old right now
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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