Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
