this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
