good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
