Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
