oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
