i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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