I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
