I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
