Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
3pm strippers are depressing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
