Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My cat gives me a boner
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Randomize
