He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
