no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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