Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
