I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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