I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
