She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
