Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
