i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
