ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
