It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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