Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think my fart just growled at me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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