just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
