I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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