People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
