I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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