one might say we're banned from that church
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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