Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
