Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
