How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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