my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
my poor anus
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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