Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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