Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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