i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
