Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
